the sense of an ending

Yes, it’s finally happened. I just typed the last period. At 90,402 words, the second draft of Anúna is complete.

For the sake of ceremony and self-indulgence, here is the last sentence that appears in the current draft.



What’s next? A full read-through with an eye towards consistency issues and other narrative quirks before digging into draft 3. But first, I’ll let it rest.

what’s the story morning glory?

on writing…

On Monday morning, I reached what felt like a natural ending to my great climactic scene :) so it’s all downhill from there… not that that’s a bad thing. It’s about time. I’m feeling the urge to start tinkering with a new plot… perhaps even a side story to help me refresh. I find that it helps me to think of something completely different between drafts. It keeps me from wanting to throw things in frustration every time I think of another element that needs changing. And there are plenty of them (I am more than aware of that), but there also comes a point in my writing when I need to be willing to step back and let go before diving in for another round. My intro (+ the first five chapters) need another look, but I’m going to avoid making any major changes before getting some reader feedback. I don’t want to muddle it up before having another set of eyes go through it.

on books…

In other news, I recently shuttered the book blog. It was time and I’m ok with that. Needless to say, there is no way I will stop talking about books; it just means that my posts will be more like random comments and side posts on tumblr than full reviews.

I’m currently reading the second in the Finishing School series by Gail Carriger, Curtsies & Conspiracies. I’m enjoying it more than the first one and will definitely read on when the third and fourth books come out.Next in line is Cassandra Clare’s City of Heavenly Fire, which just arrived for me from the library and which I did not expect for several weeks yet. This means I’ll have to speed my way through to finish before it’s due.

In the meantime, I continue to stare longingly at Diana Gabaldon’s Written in my Own Heart’s Blood, which arrived in the mail several weeks ago and has been resting on my nightstand while I read through the sudden deluge of library requested books that I’ve received.

on life...

My dad is still not well and there’s not much we can do for him but wait and hope the therapy makes a difference. It’s terribly worrying when you’re parents are older and in poor health. My mom, meanwhile, is not handling it very well and that’s equally concerning, as well as stress-inducing for me as the person in the middle.

everything else…

I kind of like this subheading thing… may start using it as a regular thing.

the latest, a list

These are the things that are making me think…

  • The ending.
  • The thought of letting go of writing for a while and taking care of my body rather than my mind.
  • My dad is a stubborn man and I wish there was more I could do to help him.
  • My grandfather is surprisingly similar in temperament and situation.
  • My car may or may not be ready to clonk out of existence in the next six months (re: I may or may not be ready to pony up the money to buy a new car in the next six months).
  • Someone is racking up the water bill at my complex and the landlord is threatening to raise the rents :( :( :(
  • I may have snitched in order to avoid the above scenario and this makes me feel like a total narc.
  • My insurance plan finally kicked in. Better start saving for the copays.

the end is nigh, part the second

I didn’t feel like writing tonight. Then I decided to force my sorry self into my chair and start writing.
And it worked.
And now I think the end of draft 2 is finally within reach. And oh my giddy goodness does it feel good to finally reach an ending that isn’t drawn out over several months of struggling with words. It’s not what I expected, but it’s going somewhere better and I can’t wait to see it reach a conclusion.
To endings and new beginnings!

taking a mini break from the writerly self-flagellation and letting go

I am slump girl.

And it’s sheer laziness on my part, but it’s a reality I have to face. I’m writing. Actually, I’m writing a lot. I’m just not writing for myself. I’m writing proposals and emails and work plans; and though I know where I need to go, I have no drive to get to it. There’s no one to blame but myself, but I think the time has come to own up to it and realize that I need a break. It’s something that needs to happen if I want to get back to writing with a fresh mind and a willing heart. So I’m going to give myself a break until Sunday. And I won’t beat myself up for it. This is a conscious, purposeful effort. I’ll enjoy a few days off and deal with the feeling of burnout that I have been brushing aside for the last few weeks to no effect. Instead, I’ll sort through clothes and set up donation piles. I’ll clear the clutter in my home. I’ll clean. I’ll cook. I’ll enjoy kitty cat love time and birthday treats with the boy and the family. And I’ll start again on Sunday.

We all need a mini break some time.

image found on weheartit


life, as it were

things that are happening now

  • I will be 30 in less than 10 days and I am very silly and anxiously awaiting whatever surprise the boy has cooked up. As a treat, I plan on getting myself a foam roller and a jump rope. Yep. That’s the plan.
  • Today marks a month since I started the new job. I finally feel like I’m getting into the swing of things around here. Plots are being plotted and schemes are being hatched.
  • I am finally reading Saga, volume 2 (thanks to the magic of ILL) and seriously trying to come up with an excuse to partake in some cosplay. How hot is Gwedolyn?
  • Anuna is getting closer to having a shiny new ending. I see about two more chapters before this draft is done (definitely not on schedule, but getting there).
  • There are ideas in my head and I am feeling the urge to plan for a brand new project come November (is it odd that I think of my writing year in terms of NaNo? It’s kind of like how I always think of September as the start of a new year because of the school year schedule.).
  • I rearranged my living space last weekend and home now feels like new. Maybe someday I’ll actually get that love-seat I keep talking about.
  • I just ordered too many books from my local library. And the amazons have sent me another. Oh, to have all the time in the world to read.
  • I made this because this is how I roll.


Another year


My 30th year draws near and with it all the thoughts, doubts, and what nows of life on the edge of adulthood… because, let’s face it, it still feels like I’m playing at being grown up. I will say that I am happier now than I ever was at 20. I’m more confident in my own skin, more aware of what I want and more willing to go for it, even if it means putting myself in an unfamiliar place or role. I have a job that I like and can see myself working at for a good while; I have goals and ambitions that I’m willing to strive for, even if it means snatching at what little free time I have and looking forward to the ups and downs of rejection and revision; and I’ve found a certain amount of stability in being on my own. I have people I love and friends I miss, and a feline companion that wakes me up and gets me out of bed every morning (even if I don’t want to).

All in all, not a bad start.

a brief hello

New job starts today. Am excited and overwhelmed by benefits package options.

Words are coming slowly and not in a very satisfying way. That cold threw me off in more ways than one. My running pace is also crap as can barely get anywhere without wheezing and hacking. (Apologies for TMI).

I have convinced myself that waking up a half hour earlier is a good idea. We’ll see how well this goes.


welcome May

May is here! And lots of changes with it–I’ll be speaking at a conference, starting a new job, figuring out a new schedule, and more.

What’s new? Well, I’ll tell you what’s not new… I did not reach my Camp NaNo goal. Not even close. Not that I really expected to, even after lowering my initial word goal of 20k, and later deciding to call it done if I finished Draft 2. Nope. The song remains the same. Still rewriting. Draft 2 is turning into a highly unmanageable little beast that just keeps growing, and with all the stuff happening in the coming weeks, I can’t see it being finished by the end of May. Still, it’s the driving desire for reader feedback that keeps me going. I know I need it before moving on to the next round of editing and I want to see it through before then.

I did, however, manage to acquire a nice little head cold. Right now, I’m doped up on just about every home remedy, cough concoction, and herbal tisane claiming to dislodge the germ colony invading my system. *sigh and cough*

knowing when to move on

I’ve been thinking a lot about what it means to move on, professionally, and how to know when it’s time to do so… For me, it was building for a while, but until I saw the job that I will start next month, I wasn’t ready to take the plunge. I wasn’t looking when I applied–not in that desperate way that I did when I was fresh out of college, working two part time jobs and barely making enough money to pay off my bills. That was a hard time and I applied for every opening because I just needed an in. Now, I’ve earned my stripes (or, the requisite 3-5 years experience that employers like to point to in order to turn away fresh candidates). And that may very well be the main motivator behind my decision to leave… I’m ready to move on because there is nothing new to be gained. At this point, I’m just rehashing the same old thing I’ve been doing for the last three years, with the exception of a special project here and there. I like a challenge; when it feels like there’s nothing left to be learned or gained, it’s definitely time to move on.

That said, there are some things I’m going to miss–my coworkers, student workers who always manage to make me laugh, a few extra special professors who granted me the privilege of teaching their students, whether in the use of library resources or general learning trends… there may not be much else to be gained, but I will feel the loss. Nevertheless, I’m really looking forward to getting to know my new colleagues. I really enjoyed the conversations we had during my interview sessions and I saw a level of congeniality among them that put me at ease. I’m also looking forward to being able to work in my area and not having to scramble to meet demands that are outside the scope of my position and the library’s role (a reality that happened more often than not). If knowing that it’s time to leave means knowing there is more to be learned somewhere else, then I’m ready for the learning.